Sometimes I hate people

Today I hate the stupid A-hole in the Black Truck who drives too fast on our Point. Now, don’t get me wrong… I am not opposed to speeding a little here and there. WHERE APPROPRIATE. It’s rural where we live, with the first 13 miles of the commute on back roads. We also live on an island for the most part, connected by an isthmus to the main land. Point is: we live on an island with thousands of deer and miscellaneous critters. Critters have certain areas where they cross the road, usually on tree or brushlines adjacent to fields or to get down to the water. So, because the rest of us (who aren’t inhibited by the mental limitations created by fetal alcohol psychosis a/k/a Black Truck guy) know and care where those deer crossings are, we slow down.

Honestly, I slow down because I think it’s senseless to put something to its death simply because I left the house late. This certainly isn’t the deer’s fault—it’s not like the deer was snoring in my freaking ear all night until I got up to sleep on the couch, but I stared at the ceiling for three hours until falling into peaceful slumber half an hour before I had to leave for work. Deer just aren’t responsible for that at all. (Now I hate my husband too, crap. Focus, focus.)

Anyway, so Black Truck guy actually drove around me on the side of the road when I slowed down to avoid the deer crossing in front of me--deer on the left, turkeys on the right, basically animals EVERYWHERE. Drove around me and took off like his life depended on it. Jerk.

What did I do? Well, I did what any good, honest, self-respecting, law-abiding, critter loving citizen would do. I floored it. I hugged his ass all the way to the main road around hairpin curves maxing out at almost 90 mph and I would have gone faster. Yeah, I know it was stupid, but I sure showed him what an asshole he is, right?

Lessons learned here: 1) Just because you can drive fast, doesn’t mean you should (or I’m an idiot too), 2) drinking while pregnant is bad, 3) I need to buy earplugs, 4) deer rarely disturb your sleep, 5) a certain Black Truck guy should get a truckload of animal parts if I can broker a deal with those Highway guys on road kill detail. “Surprise, you forgot to take us with you after you mowed us down,” and 6) sometimes I hate people.